Morning Honey

Today, after 9 years, I am still able to get my morning honey. This honey is not the kind you buy in the store. It's even more sweet and much more special. I'm sure you want to know what this morning honey is. Well, read on and you'll see...

From the time Adrianna was 3 months old until she was 5, it was just the two of us. It was very hard and maybe one day I will go into those details, but not today. Today I want to focus on the positive.

Sometimes, I am amazed at how different the same person can be. Adrianna is a perfect example. She has always had a “sweet stubbornness” about her. Adrianna has always been kind and caring but when she wants to be stubborn, she’s an expert at that as well. I remember when she was about 1 and in her crib, she cried for 45 minutes straight. Not cried like ‘mommy, I want to be in the room with you so please come get me’ but cried like ‘someone just cut off my big toe and if you don’t come get me I’m calling CPS’. I had a choice to make so I went in her room. I knew she wasn’t hungry because she had just eaten. So I checked her diaper – all good and checked her forehead – no temperature. So this was it. This was that moment that my dad warned me about. That moment when I was going to be so exhausted and she was going to be so persistent. It would have been much easier for me to just pick her up and put her in the bed with me and I knew that is what she wanted me to do. But I also knew that if I gave in, she would etch this night in her memory and try me each and every time. So, I walked out and shut the door behind me. She squealed loudly as if to say “OH, I KNOW SHE DIDN’T JUST LEAVE ME IN HERE, WHERE’S THE PHONE????”. I walked into my room and tried to sleep. I couldn’t do it. It was so loud, deafening loud. So I picked up my pillows and walked into my closet. I shut the door; laid on the floor, put one pillow below my head and one pillow over. She cried forever (or at least it seemed like forever) and I stayed in my closet until she gave up and passed out.

So, I know I said I was focusing on the positive but you needed to know that to know this. The next morning, just as I always did, I went into her room and took her from her crib. I brought her in the bed with me. When she woke up, she looked at me so sweetly with the kindest eyes. It was like last night never happened. You see, she was always like this in the morning and it was my favorite part of the day. I looked forward to it and it kept me going.

As she got older, she moved into her big girl bed. Instead of taking her out of her room and into mine, I would just go and lay down with her right before she woke up. It was the part of the day that I needed so that I would know that we were going to be ok, even with it being just the two of us. I called it - time with my ‘morning honey’. She was my morning honey because she was simply sweet.

And to this day, if I need a little sweetness in my life, I know I can go to her – right before she wakes up. I can lay down with her and put my face on her pillow. She will open her eyes, sleepily and slowly, and when she sees me there will be a small half smile. She’ll close her eyes and the next time they open, they will fix on mine and I will know. I will know that I’ve gotten exactly what I came in the room for; that I’ve just received my morning honey.

‘til next time,

Emily

Little Lesson: Enjoy life's sweet moments.